Sad Goodbyes

Today we said goodbye to my Nanna. She passed away on Thursday. She was not your typical Nanna. She had been married 3 times, liked scotch on the rocks, smoked like a chimney & would get very drunk and swear a lot. She was pint sized, stubborn as a mule and fiesty to boot. She had impeccable taste in decor. She loved birds and she loved gardens. She had a flair for making her houses homes. In her homes the coffee tables where always right at the right height, lamps lit comfortable chairs perfectly for reading in and 4BH was always on quietly in the background. Wherever you sat, your eye would be drawn to something beautiful. She could be vivacious and fun. Often she was also a nasty hell hag. But she was our hell hag. She was my Nanna, and I was the apple of her eye. When I was small I used to love visits to Nanna's house. She always had snake lollies in a jar in her pantry. She would buy me small jars of bo-peep lollies from darrel lea as a special treat. As soon as we walked in the door she would whisk me off to measure me on the back of her linen press door in the laundry, to see how much I had grown. I had a special bowl that she always put my meals in- a large retro ramekin that was black on the outside and pink on the inside. And always with the special teaspoon with the black handle. She had a beautiful poodle named Sunny. When Nanna would take me into the spare room and turn down the sheets at night, he would realise I was staying the night and go absolutely crazy with delight, jumping up and down off the bed lol... I can remember Nanna and I throwing his rawhide down the hallway for him to retrieve. And throwing good-o's in the air for him to catch in the kitchen. He had a massive dog door, which I took great delight in crawling through lol.
When I was older and had my own car, I would drive over to Nanna's and take lunch or some morning tea. Often when she heard someone comming to the door you would hear the sound of swearing :P But when she saw it was me, her face would light up and her arms would fly wide open. When I moved away got married and subsequently had LM I would still travel back to see her when I could. By this stage she was getting more frail. But one visit where I went alone with LM, she got down on the floor to play with her, and picked her up unaided to cuddle her. She was proud of me, and proud to be "the matriach" as she often called herself.
I am sitting here tonight wearing her tiny wedding band & missing her deeply. It is only just hitting me that she is gone forever. Her mind has been completely gone from us these past 2 years. She has been wasting away in both body and mind these last 2 years... no one deserves to perish that way. I hope that she has now found the peace she didn't have in this earthly life. She was a complete contradiction. She was unlike any of my friends Nanna's. Hell, she was unlike anyone I have ever met before lol. She was an experience. Inspite of her faults, I loved her so very dearly.... I will always remember her fondly and laugh when I remember her antics. Love to you Nanna, I hope you have found peace at last. Hugs to you, I am blowing you kisses as we always used to do... and send my love to Grandpa too. I miss him so very much as well, I know he would be on the other side waiting for you xx