Relationships

The other day a friend and I where discussing relationships. And at what point you call it a day. Obviously, ending some relationships is a no brainer. But we where discussing the relationships where people have changed. Where there is nothing particularly wrong "on paper" so to speak. But where that sense of belonging, the feeling of being in life together, is gone. Or if your emotional needs change, and as such are not being met by your partner. At what point do you put yourself and your needs ahead of your children and keeping their world a stable and happy place?

I think the answer is that there is no good answer.... There is no way of opting out without hurting someone. Life is messy. Too messy sometimes. So many people say better to be from a broken home than to live in one. Which I totally agree with. But what if the home is not entirely broken in the first place? What if there is no fighting? The people work well together to co-parent. The support each other in that capacity and others too. Just not on an emotional level. The kids would not even have a clue that there is something wrong. What do you do then? Do you continue to live the lie, essentially hurting only one person? Or do you opt out and turn several small worlds upside down? How the hell do you make such a decision?

This dilemma makes me grateful, in a way, that my separation and impending divorce morphed into the "no brainer" variety. So much easier to decide on the right course of action......

Relationships....

Today a friend and I where discussing relationships. And at what point you call it a day. Obviously, ending some relationships is a no brainer. But we where discussing the relationships where people have changed. Where there is nothing particularly wrong "on paper" so to speak. But where that sense of belonging, the feeling of being in life together, is gone. Or if your emotional needs change, and as such are not being met by your partner. At what point do you put yourself and your needs ahead of your children and keeping their world a stable and happy place?

I think the answer is that there is no good answer.... There is no way of opting out without hurting someone. Life is messy. Too messy sometimes. So many people say better to be from a broken home than to live in one. Which I totally agree with. But what if the home is not entirely broken in the first place? What if there is no fighting? The people work well together to co-parent. The support each other in that capacity and others too. Just not on an emotional level. The kids would not even have a clue that there is something wrong. What do you do then? Do you continue to live the lie, essentially hurting only one person? Or do you opt out and turn several small worlds upside down? How the hell do you make such a decision?

This dilemma makes me grateful, in a way, that my separation and impending divorce morphed into the "no brainer" variety. So much easier to decide on the right course of action......

Relationships....

Today a friend and I where discussing relationships. And at what point you call it a day. Obviously, ending some relationships is a no brainer. But we where discussing the relationships where people have changed. Where there is nothing particularly wrong "on paper" so to speak. But where that sense of belonging, the feeling of being in life together, is gone. Or if your emotional needs change, and as such are not being met by your partner. At what point do you put yourself and your needs ahead of your children and keeping their world a stable and happy place?

I think the answer is that there is no good answer.... There is no way of opting out without hurting someone. Life is messy. Too messy sometimes. So many people say better to be from a broken home than to live in one. Which I totally agree with. But what if the home is not entirely broken in the first place? What if there is no fighting? The people work well together to co-parent. The support each other in that capacity and others too. Just not on an emotional level. The kids would not even have a clue that there is something wrong. What do you do then? Do you continue to live the lie, essentially hurting only one person? Or do you opt out and turn several small worlds upside down? How the hell do you make such a decision?

This dilemma makes me grateful, in a way, that my separation and impending divorce morphed into the "no brainer" variety. So much easier to decide on the right course of action......